{"id":3027,"date":"2012-10-04T07:38:08","date_gmt":"2012-10-04T11:38:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/aboutrc.com\/?p=3027"},"modified":"2012-10-04T07:44:03","modified_gmt":"2012-10-04T11:44:03","slug":"one-for-my-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/?p=3027","title":{"rendered":"One for My Dad."},"content":{"rendered":"

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My birthday has been this weird amalgam of hurt and hope for 14 years now. In what I can only describe as a cosmic kick in the groin, I remember being woken up to a phone call at 3am letting me know that my dad was found – his life lost to a massive heart attack as he was walking along a road. I remember completely losing it driving from upstate New York down to the city to catch a plane. In the middle of a crying jag, I was met with Louie Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” softly on the radio. I remember screaming ever so loud at the radio in the car.. desperately asking whether it was true. Is it? Of all days, and all times. Is it?<\/p>\n

For years, my family have spent the morning in Mass, and the afternoon trying to do something to kinda lift everyone spirits. Including my own. Truth be told – its never really worked. I still passed the days thinking of my dad in the middle of the night trying to recreate images of what it must have been like for him. Things that I really have no reason to think about. Things that, no matter how much I try, do not change the outcome of what happened that night. Try as I may, I find myself with the same empty questions, only met with the silence of the night never quite calming me. <\/p>\n

I usually brush it off and get going with my day, and not really call any attention to it. As time passes, I spend my time calling my mom (i mean, it was my dad.. but this was her partner in crime.. I couldnt even imagine.. ) and spending time with my loved ones. But i’ve never really been OK with it. I never wanted to be OK with it. <\/p>\n

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This year, I was blessed with the opportunity to take back a little bit of it and try something different. I’m spending the day out in Paradise – Jade Mountain<\/a> teaching at the Joe McNally Workshop<\/a>. For the first time in 14 years, I am out with my partner in crime, enjoying some time in a beautiful place and stretching my creative wings. I get to pick up a camera and do something that I absolutely love- photography. I get to stand in a class and do what I really love and feel deeply for – teaching. <\/p>\n

And I get to write this. I guess its my own moment of catharsis. Its a time for me to say that I am totally OK. That he’s totally OK. And that I miss him – ever so much. And be OK with saying that. Though I cannot change what happened, I can learn and try to be the best dad I can be for my daughter.. and make sure that I always stay in touch. Always tell her that I love her.<\/p>\n

If I were to have one birthday wish, it would be this. If you can, call your parents. No matter what. Despite the ups and downs that I may have had in my own life, theres not a moment that doesn’t go by that I wouldn’t trade much of what I have done for just a few more minutes talking with him. Just call and say hello. <\/p>\n

And get out there and enjoy that day you have. It really is a Wonderful World after all. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"My birthday has been this weird amalgam of hurt and hope for 14 years now. In what I…","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"csco_singular_sidebar":"","csco_page_header_type":"","csco_page_load_nextpost":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10,3],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-3027","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-blog","7":"category-photography","8":"cs-entry"},"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3027"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3027"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3027\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4165,"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3027\/revisions\/4165"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aboutrc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}